There are plenty of blowups between couples in and out of counseling sessions and even therapy. More often than not, the match that lights the fuse always seems to be one of many things, with one or both parties being at fault. Let’s check out the reasons most couples break out in fights during premarital counseling to give you an insight into the causes of these issues in relationships based on counseling experience. If you require expert wedding officiant services in Oklahoma, remember to reach out to Dr. Makayla at (405) 696-6450.
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There was a session where the waterworks hit the fan over cash. The couple couldn’t see eye to eye on purchases, savings, you name it. Pretty sure each had their way of doing things money-wise for years before tying the knot.
Well, all that solo financing flew right out the window once they tried merging funds. Neither was budging, and the arguing just kept amping up. It was obvious they needed to find a joint game plan for handling their dough. Otherwise, their relationship was gonna be one big tug-of-war budget battle from here on out. Unless they worked on compromising and chatting it out nicely and calmly, theirs was a partnership destined for financial friction, fo’sho.
Imbalanced Sex Drives:
Nothing can ignite an argument between a couple quicker than mismatched sex drives.
In one counseling session where the flames were barely contained – she wanted more romance, he craved more nookie. Needless to say, they weren’t seeing eye to eye in the bedroom.
It was clear their intimacy needs headed in different directions. Unless some heartfelt convos uncovered each person’s preferences no judgments, their bonus base was bound to become a war zone.
By getting real about each other’s wants and triggers, maybe they could find a balance that left them both feeling satisfied. Figuring out ways to connect that worked for both could save their relationship from fizzling in the sack. Frank talks where everyone felt heard had the power to make or break these two between the sheets long run.
Inefficient Responsibility Sharing:
Keeping house with someone else always means divvying up chores too. Boy, howdy, as any marriage guide knows, that’s a flame just begging to be lit.
There was a couple who was seconds away from throwing down over scrubbing and scouring. One of them felt like Cinderella with all the cleaning, cooking, you name it. The other? Not so much. Soon enough, dumb stuff like loading the washer felt like the end of the world. Plain as the nails on your hand – they never got on the same page about keeping their place ship-shape.
Just like the bedroom tangos, expectations about what clean meant hadn’t been made clear. Unless a truce was called over the little things like dirt under the couches and grime in the grub, resentment was bound to take over the whole damn homefront. Pulling their domestic weight equal meant talking it out pronto.
That green-eyed monster jealousy can turn even the sturdiest bond sour fast, as any counselor knows all too well. A couple had this issue and was ready to throw blows over the guy’s female coworker he worked closely with. She was feeling insecure watching their interactions, and who could blame her? Jealousy’s an ugly beast. Meanwhile, he was getting snippy anytime she brought up loving her job and thriving in her career. Resentment reared its nasty head both ways. Truth is, doubts likely crept in for each other’s loyalty at times. It’s just human nature. We had to dig into rebuilding their trust. Reminding one another of their genuine care through good old-fashioned reassurance was the salve this relationship desperately needed. Jealousy may fade, but their love stood a real chance smoothing things over with tenderness..
Misunderstandings are guaranteed to happen anytime both people have too much on their plates. It was the case with one couple feeling the sting of miscommunications. Expectations unmet left them wondering how hard they felt. Maybe things weren’t said how they meant to come out or taken differently than intended. All I saw was distress in the aftermath of words gone wrong despite no ill intent. Busy lives tend to breed screwups like this, as do assumptions about subtext not explicitly stated. Such slip-ups come with the territory when stress piles high and wavelengths aren’t synced. Unless proper groundwork was laid to clarify exchanges, their bond risked dissolving due to daily static and interference. Learning each other’s communication styles better painted a picture for avoiding future dialogues going off the rails.
Lack of Appreciation
Lights between tight-knit pairs usually stem from lopsided give-and-take. One counseling session proved this- little things one did for the other didn’t seem mutual. Acts of kindness felt under-appreciated or one-way. It’s easy to presume your efforts won’t go unnoticed, but we all get blindspots. Making sure your person genuinely gets what you offer and how you care is important. Feeling taken for granted is a conflict waiting to happen. Opening up about need for mutual reciprocation and acknowledgment can foster more balance. With work, these displays of thoughtfulness had the potential to strengthen bonds versus cause more irritation. A compromise was key to restore the mutual care in their relationship equilibrium.
With everything demanding your energy – kids, work, family, Fido – burnout is inevitable. And man, does an offhand remark or mess hit differently when you’re tired? Partners are sure to lose their cool from time to time when running on fumes. Minor annoyances that wouldn’t phase you can spark bigger fights. But disagreements come with the territory for even the tightest couples. Perspective gets iffy when fatigue sets in. That doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed by any means. As long as you both cut each other slack during stressed times, bust-ups don’t have to damage what you’ve got. Compromise and respect will see you through rough patches just like they do the good.”
Issues with Decision Making
During most premarital sessions, one of the biggest things that is observed is how varying decision-making styles can cause conflict. With one couple, it was clear this was a hot button. In discussion, it emerged he likes weighing options alone while she prefers hashing it out together. Even small calls stressed him with picking the right pressure. You could see the unease building as he closed off instead of communicating his process. Pushing for involvement only made him withdraw more. Before long, things exploded as underlying issues erupted. They hadn’t explored each other’s methods. Making assumptions bred misunderstanding and conflict. Once open, similarities and leveraging strengths appeared. By the end, they felt equipped to navigate calls as a unit. Understanding decreased worry and allowed compromise over clashes. Hoping this zone isn’t a trigger now that they’re on the same page.
Issues tend to come up not only between pre-marital couples but also post-marital couples and the reasons listed above are mostly the cause. Working on these aspects pushes for a healthier relationship and we bring these reasons from the experience of a pre-marital counselor to enlighten you based on experience. So it’s time to implement the solutions, work on them, and get a healthier relationship. For more insights or our services, visit us at http://www.lifelongweddingceremonies.com or at LifelongWeddingCeremonies@Gmail.com. Like, share, and subscribe for more fascinating wedding tales.
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