Who wouldn’t want to stand beside their best friend on their wedding day? If you ask me, it truly is a great feeling. But what if you’re transgender? According to some trans people I know, the purely joyful experience of a wedding can cause a great deal of anxiety. Dr. Tinsley Keefe knows about this feeling all too well, thanks to her experience as a trans wedding officiant in OKC. She says that juggling things like family dynamics, clothing logistics, and dealing with uninvited bigots can make things very messy.
I am here to tell you that there is a way to avoid such problems. Let me assure you that it is absolutely possible to be a transgender member of a wedding party and have a wonderful time. Tinsley Taylor Keefe, a premarital counselor in Oklahoma City, often helps trans people who fear attending wedding ceremonies. According to her, preparation and compassion are all you need to enjoy every moment of your friend’s wedding. How can I make that happen, you ask? Well, continue reading to find out.
Sort Out the Clothing Situation Early
One of the most practical steps you can take, in my opinion, is communicating your clothing size well in advance. The last thing you want is a dress or suit that doesn’t fit. Also, you only need to communicate your clothing size if the couple is covering the costs. I always advise people to think ahead to where their body will be at the time of the wedding. People often make the mistake of thinking about the shape they are in currently.
You can never tell if you will gain or lose weight in the coming weeks. Sure, you can prepare, but you can never be certain. So, I would advise you to factor that in when giving your size. You could even discuss this with the couple closer to the date if you notice things changing. While you are at it, why not use this opportunity to talk openly about what style of clothing feels right for you? If they truly love and accept you, they will prioritize your comfort.
You Really Don’t Have To Share Your Identity
Ever wondered what one thing transgender wedding guests feel when someone invites them? Dr. Tinsley Keefe says the answer is pressure. She believes that the intensity of pressure can vary from person to person, but it is very much there. If you feel stressed during a wedding ceremony, I would like to remind you that you do not have to share your identity. And the reason behind it is pretty simple. You do not owe others that conversation.
I often notice people bringing up their identity even when the topic does not come up. It baffles me because it can be an uncomfortable conversation, especially for wedding ceremonies. Sure, if someone brings up the topic, you can answer their questions while making sure they don’t cross personal boundaries. I recommend not looking for that conversation if it isn’t necessary. Why? Because the last thing any couple wants is unnecessary drama at their wedding. I know many Ordained officiants from Edmond, OKC, who seem to think the same.
Not Everyone Deserves Your Energy
You may find people in wedding ceremonies who are fully aware of your gender identity. There is also a good chance that they have issues with it. Now, you might be wondering why your friend would invite such people. Well, the answer is not always completely straightforward. Who knows? Maybe they didn’t want to invite them, but had to because of family obligations. You know, they’re often very complicated.
Does this mean you have to confront the people who are not comfortable with your presence? Not at all. Why even bother spending your energy on negative people? It’s best to save that energy for the people who lift you. It’s a no-brainer if you ask me.
What Are Friends For?
I often notice trans people feeling down once they reach the wedding venue. Are you afraid this could happen to you? If so, I would like you to remember why you’re there in the first place. Someone who loves you wants you to be there on their biggest day. They appreciate you as you are. Believe me, that’s not a small thing. If you still feel anxious or just a little off, remember that you don’t have to suffer alone. You can always count on your friends.
Now, you do not need me to tell you that you shouldn’t pull the bride or groom aside to discuss your feelings. That’s a big no-no. As a gay wedding officiant from Norman, OK, Dr. Tinsley says that you can have these discussions after the event.
Don’t Turn Down Help
I firmly believe that allowing people to help you might be the most important piece of advice. So, if you’re feeling lonely and someone tries to have a friendly conversation, please try not to turn it down. Sure, you might feel uncomfortable at first, but believe me, you will feel a lot better eventually. When time passes, and you think back to those moments, you will truly cherish them. I just hope there are wedding photographers from OKC to capture all the beautiful moments of the wedding ceremony.
Make It A Night That You Remember
I hope my article helped you understand how to truly enjoy yourself as a trans person at a wedding party. Don’t forget to remind yourself that you are there because your friends want you to be there. Dr. Tinsley says that reminders like these are great confidence boosters, so why not try practicing them? And remember, there will come a time when you have to walk the wedding aisle as a bride or groom. When that happens, you might need event planners or transgender wedding officiants from Tulsa, OK.
We can help make your wedding ceremony memorable. Please drop us an email or give us a call at (405) 696-6450. Our representatives are eager to hear from you and help you out in any way they can.
