If you are invited to a friend or family member’s wedding party, you should feel lucky. Even if you are the bride’s mother or the groom’s brother, you are not entitled to anything. This not only goes for participation in the wedding party, but also a general invitation to the wedding itself. The fact is, if you are a piece of crap to people then you might not get the chance to be a part of a wedding party . . . unless of course someone marries you.
However, if you are the epitome of a great friend/family member then your chance of qualifying is tripled. The likelihood of being involved beyond a guest is very high. This leads Dr. Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe to reference one of the biggest things she experiences as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma City: post-invitation entitlement.
Being a wedding party member is a blessing and it should be treated as such. While this does not give the almost-married couple the right to act like assholes, it does give you a responsibility of sorts. Being a part of a wedding party is not all about parties and cake testing; it is also about organizing and helping set up. It is about being there for your bride/groom as a friend and a supporter.
Dr. Tinsley Keefe has witnessed the unsupportive attitudes in wedding parties while working as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma, and she is not impressed. Her biggest tip to any wedding party member out there is to allow yourself organized and responsible fun. In other words, do not hesitate to enjoy yourself. You were not invited to be a member of a wedding party to stress and sulk – quite the opposite. Allow yourself the enjoyment of the festivities, but remember your responsibility at the end of the day.
One of the most common situations that Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe has found herself in as a wedding officiant in OKC is witnessing the fallout of a wedding party due to a lack of emotional support. As a member of the party, you help organize and decorate. You enjoy yourself in the pre-wedding preparation alongside the bride/groom.
You offer physical support. What many people forget is that along with physical support, you also need to offer emotional support. Pre-marriage events can be extremely stressful for everyone. This is magnified for the actual couple that is getting married, as their emotions will be heightened and their mentality will be vulnerable. As not only a wedding party member – but a friend – it is your duty to try your best at keeping the bride/groom grounded and relaxed.
At the end of the day, if you simply act kind and considerate towards everyone you speak to throughout the wedding journey then you cannot run into trouble. A general rule in life: even outside of weddings, you should always be kind and considerate towards others. After all, killing with kindness is the most effective form of torture.