That might seem like a forward question, and it totally is meant to be because it’s a question that needs to be asked. Getting married is serious business. So many times, you see celebrities getting married as a joke and then ending their vows within 48-hours of saying them. Other times, people get married for all the wrong reasons and then part ways without even trying to salvage their commitment to one another.
Don’t be like these people.
Dr. John Patrick Keefe II, a wedding officiant in Oklahoma City, wants you to be certain that your partner is the person that you intend to spend the rest of your life with. Getting married is a sacred union regardless if you’re religious, spiritual, or an atheist. Think about it; you are committing your life, finances, trust, hope, and heart with another human being. This is not something to be taken lightly!
Here are a few questions you should ask yourself before getting married, courtesy of the Huffington Post:
1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?
2. Do we really accept one another?
3. Who am I?
4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?
5. Am I feeling trapped?
6. What am I doing to hold us back?
7. Is this relationship balanced?
8. Can we have fun together?
9. Can we have fun apart?
10. Why am I in this relationship?
11. Where is this going?
12. Do I really trust my partner?
13. Am I with a good person?
14. Am I attracted to my partner?
15. Am I a parent or a partner?
16. Does my partner have my back?
17. Are we looking in the same direction?
18. Are we growing together?
19. Am I still me?
20. What is my gut telling me?
If you can’t answer most of these questions positively, you might want to rethink what you are doing. You need to be sure about your decision to tie the knot. Your wedding might cost a lot of money, but divorce costs even more. In fact, divorce not only takes your money, but it also takes your heart, soul, trust, and many other undesirable things. What if you have children together? How will an unhappy marriage that leads to divorce impact them?
Dr. John Keefe gives some great advice to couples seeking marriage:
“If you can’t get along now, you aren’t going to get along after you sign your marriage license, either. Some may say that marriage is just a piece of paper and that it doesn’t change anything. Let me tell you; marriage changes everything. Learn to like, respect, and value each other before you put rings on your fingers.”
A great way to properly prepare for marriage is to seek out marriage counseling classes. You might think classes like these sound old-fashioned or corny, but they have proven to be very helpful to many couples. Marriage counseling will also help you determine whether you are ready to walk down the aisle or not. Remember, marriage is intended for a lifetime, not for a moment.
