Any wedding minister who has ever officiated weddings in Oklahoma for extraordinarily long fully understands how rewarding the profession can be. Helping happy couples and their families and friends celebrate one of their biggest, most joyous moments in life is exhilarating. Most of the time, wedding ceremonies go off without major issues, and everyone is happy. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. From cursing bridezillas to entitled groomzillas who both gripe and complain about every little detail, these toxic brides, grooms, and nonbinary partners can and do completely suck the fun out of the entire event and make life miserable for everyone.
Indeed, the bad person might not even be the couple that is tying the knot. Parents, stepparents, drunk uncles, and grandpas that sexually grope the wedding officiants and make lewd comments about their bodies, and even aunts, grandmothers, photographers, and others present all have the potential to absolutely ruin what otherwise could have been a fun, enjoyable a marriage ceremony for everyone. Fortunately, our justice of the peace has put together a list of methods for managing this maladaptive behavior in a socially and emotionally mature manner. These suggestions include, but are not limited to, the following items:
Attempt Diplomatic De-escalation:
Whether the bridezilla is complaining about evert facet of the wedding ceremony or the mother-in-law is threatening to derail the entire event, marriage ministers should try to use initiative-taking, emotionally mature, diplomatic responses aimed at redirecting the negative behavior and de-escalating the situation. Indeed, it is vital that the ordained officiant does not begin yelling, making accusations, cursing, or pointing the finger at others who are present at the wedding.
By always remaining calm, cool, collected, and professional, our marriage ministers at Lifelong Wedding Ceremonies help ensure that the wedding itself and those present continue to have the best chance for a “happily ever after” ending. While diplomacy and de-escalation are not always feasible, they should always be the initial first steps and are the best shot if officiants want to help place the wedding train back on stable tracks.
Offer Initiative-taking, Purposeful Ideas & Answers:
Military chaplains should also offer initiative-taking, purposeful ideas and answers to all complaints and problems whenever possible. Indeed, if the wedding celebrant becomes negative or begins reacting emotionally, it will only add further to the chaos, confusion, and entropy. The wedding party and guests certainly do not need any more of that.
Redirect Negative People & Toxic Behaviors:
It is important for the marriage celebrant to make every attempt to redirect the focus of negative wedding couples, guests, and even other vendors there. Have the bridezillas, groomzillas, and other toxic guests and vendors focus on important things that will help the wedding flow smoothly. If there is an even planner or wedding coordinator and that person is not causing any of the problems, then that person can and should also help address the toxic people.
Offer Premarital Counseling & Wedding Rehearsals Before the Wedding Day:
Even smaller courthouse wedding ceremonies can benefit from a wedding rehearsal prior to the actual wedding itself. While rehearsals are more often reserved for elopement wedding ceremonies and especially the larger wedding ceremony packages, all of them can benefit from a marriage ceremony rehearsal beforehand. This helps practice and run through any potential problems upfront, cutting down on the instances of stress-related bridezillas and groomzillas. However, if the terribleness is due to an imbedded, long-term personality flaw within the individual, then a rehearsal is unlikely to change it because it is not merely do to situational event stress and anxiety.
Just as wedding rehearsals can help marriage ceremonies flow more smoothly and can help relieve some of the actual wedding day stress, so, too, can premarital counseling. Our marriage counselors can have a profound effect on how well the wedding day goes. Indeed, since many people do not fully discuss what it is like to be married and what all goes into it, just having the chance to sit down and explore it can help set the correct tone for expectations before, during, and after the wedding ceremony.
Try Not to Take Any Misbehavior from Others Personally:
Whenever someone begins acting poorly at a wedding, it is vital for the marriage celebrant to try to remember that their behavior is not personal to the officiant. Indeed, whatever the bridezilla and/or groomzilla is doing badly reflects on them and who they are as people. Try to remember that they may be under significant amounts of stress from the wedding, and/or they may just be bad people. Whatever the case, ordained marriage officiants near me must try to separate themselves from the actions of the wrongdoers. Doing so will help the officiant maintain composure, dignity, and professionalism.
Focus on the Positive Aspects:
Marriage ceremonies can have many wonderful aspects to them. For some people, it can be easy to get sidetracked on tiny, petty details that can easily derail the entire marriage ceremony and suck out any fun and enjoyment for everyone in attendance. When gay wedding officiants notice party poopers making the wedding less fabulous with too much gloominess and dread, they can whip out the sparkles and make the LGBTQIA+ wedding ceremony a happier occasion for everyone once more.
Terminate Services with or Without a Refund:
Some wedding couples and their guests are beyond help. We especially see this when one or more of the participants begin making racist, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, or other deal-breaker forms of hate speech and atrocious behavior. When anyone at a wedding begins engaging in this terrible speech and/or actions, the lesbian wedding minister has every right to eject them from the wedding ceremony.
If they do not leave or if the inappropriate behavior continues, then prison chaplains have every right to terminate the continuation of the nuptials. It is up to the wedding pastor as to whether to offer a full or partial refund, or if no refund whatsoever is warranted. Keep the boundaries clear and enforce them, because no one should ever mistreat the one who is going to marry the couple and should not be treating anyone badly whatsoever. Sadly, some weddings simply are not salvageable and require the withdrawal of the minister from it altogether.
These are just a few of the many different strategies that marriage pastors can do to help salvage a wedding whereby horrendous brides, grooms, and/or other guests have begun to ruin. There are plenty of other effective strategies that we can offer if you hire an ordained minister from Lifelong Wedding Ceremonies to assist you. Please call, text, or e-mail us today for more invaluable information and pricing quotes.
