Your friends might be accepting of your true self, but that does not mean being a part of their wedding party will not have its struggles. Things can easily go wrong – things you have nothing to do with – and adding onto those things is more stress than anyone needs. Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe is a wedding officiant in Oklahoma City that has seen numerous transgender individuals in their friends’ wedding parties, and she has seen their happiness despite the trials that sometimes creep up. Tinsley Keefe knows it is possible to be a transgender in a wedding party and still have fun.
If the couple getting married is providing the clothing for the event, make sure to tell them your size in advance to prevent any wrong-size messes. When you decide on a size, make sure you take into consideration where you will be body-wise at the time of the wedding – especially if you are still transitioning. One of the biggest things Dr. Tinsley Keefe has witnessed as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma is transgender wedding party members getting stressed about things that cannot be helped. If you are worried that your friend’s family does not know you are transgender, then do not bother telling them unless it is brought up. The last thing you want to do is cause a scene on someone else’s big day.
If there are people there that know you are transgender and are still bigots, then keep your distance from them. Chances are your friend had to invite them, and probably does not want them there as much as you do not. The biggest thing to remember if you are a transgender in a wedding party is that you are in that wedding party for a reason. Your friends are accepting of you, even if the rest of the party is not. Never be afraid to count on your friends to get you through tough times. It is very different to confide in them pre and post wedding than to bombard them with things halfway through their wedding day. Dr. Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe knows from her experience as a wedding officiant in OKC that most brides or grooms appreciate honesty when it comes to any struggle their transgender friends might be having.
Let yourself be helped. If it comes down to it, do not be afraid to depend on someone else every now and then. You are allowed to enjoy being your true self while also enjoying something memorable like a close friend’s wedding. In fact, there is no better way to enjoy a wedding than to be your true self. As long as you sort your stresses before the time to enjoy surfaces, then your happiness will come naturally and that smile will not be forced. Embrace who you are, and remember that the courtesy you show your friend now will (most likely) be returned when it is your turn to walk down the aisle.