Being transgender is not a choice. You might be thinking, “Well that is obvious.” Unfortunately, some people have bigoted views and do not see it that way. Not only is being transgender not a choice, but getting the surgeries is not really a choice either. Dr. Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe recalls her experiences as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma City, when several transgender brides and grooms explained the financial struggle preventing surgery accompanied by the overwhelming pain of not feeling at home in one’s own body.
Those that are lucky enough to get the surgeries are left rediscovering themselves in a completely new light. On a reoccurring basis, many transgenders that are post-surgery are left wondering how to proceed not only physically . . . but sexually. Having sex is not rocket science, but having an orgasm can be trial enough for cisgendered married couples. When it comes to transgender married couples, the struggle is sometimes very real.
Wanting to give the best advice to her clients while working as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma, Dr. Tinsley Keefe spent a bit of time researching the best ways to have orgasms when one or both partners are transgender. The first thing to pay extra close attention to, whether you are M2F or F2M, is oral. Oral sex is a godsend for many people unable to achieve maximum pleasure during actual intercourse, and post-surgery transgenders are no different.
If you are the one giving oral, you need to be gentle starting out. Everyone is different, which means that everyone’s hot spot is different. Let your partner guide you – softer, harder, up, down, etc. The next step is fingers or hand (depending), and the guidance on that is basically the same. During this time, do not be afraid to experiment while finding comfort and trust in your partner. This is a time of new experiences for you both, and in order to achieve maximum pleasure you have to be completely open – what feels good, what does not feel good, what might feel good, what probably will not feel good, etc.
While attending numerous ceremonies as a wedding officiant in OKC, Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe has heard a number of different tales about the mishaps of sex with both cisgender and transgender couples. When it comes to actual intercourse, it is amazing how many people prefer other means for achieving orgasms. When it does come time to experiment in that regard, Tinsley Keefe stresses the importance of being gentle.
The key in this situation is to alternate between the above techniques – if you are afraid to get your mouth a little dirty, then you are not truly living. In the end, the best orgasm takes time to find and there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you and your partner are patient, you really cannot go wrong. Just remember: do not be afraid to try new things.